Father Where Are You?
by katnissjackson1019
Summary: Five times in Luke Castellan's life when he needed his father but he didn't come, and the one time when his father came but he didn't need him. Because he had a good reason to betray everyone.


**Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to PJO**

I.

Five year old Luke Castellan is sitting at the table eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich while his mother hovers about humming happily. Everything is normal and well when his mother doubles over and starts spewing green smoke. She begins grabbing random objects and throws them around the room. Pots, pans, and Kool-Aid pouches explode as they are hurled against the wall. Luke can only watch in terror as his own _mother_ grabs him and forces him against the wall.

"Not him! Not his fate! Not my little Luke!" she screams. What was she talking about? Somehow, some way, Luke manages to wrench himself out of her grasp and he escapes up the stairs. While up there he finds the closet and hides away from his mother, not even bothering to turn on the light. And there, curled up into a small ball next to a shelf full of cleaning supplies, tries to forget his mother and everything going on downstairs. To pass the time, he thinks of his father.

Luke had never met his father, so picturing him was quite difficult. Luke imagined him to have his eyes, tall, and very handsome. Luke dreamt about his father coming down to save him. Somehow he manages to help his mom, and they would all go to live happily ever after. The banging coming downstairs from the kitchen became louder and the shrieks grew higher pitched.

_"Daddy please help me. I'm scared,"_ he prayed inside the dark closet. But no one came.

II.

It was the Friday before Father's Day at Luke's school and all of the students were working on bookmarks in the shape of ties for their respective fathers. Luke was no exception. He liked coloring and drawing stripes on his tie- it was a lot more fun than reading with the words swirling around on the page.

When Luke was finished he brought over his tie to the teacher. "Great job Luke!" she said putting her hand on his shoulder, "I'm sure your father will be proud." Luke awkwardly shrugged off her hand and plastered a smile on his face, "Yeah, I guess he'll like it."

Later on when Luke got home he was greeted with the sight of his mother. She was in the kitchen as always making him more peanut butter sandwiches. As she washed her hands in the sink, she spoke about how special his father was. Luke was hit with inspiration. He took out the bookmark for his dad and placed it on the doorstep. _"Daddy, I hope you liked this gift I made you."_

The next day when he came outside he saw the bookmark where he left it. He picked it up and crumpled it angrily into a ball and threw it as hard as he could. He didn't need it anyway.

III.

Through the rain, Luke manage to get a glimpse of the giant pine tree that had taken the place of his best friend. What the hell? He just found out that his father was a god and that he attracted monsters. And here he thought they only liked him for his good looks. But Luke didn't really care that monsters were out to kill him, no, all that mattered to him was that his best friend was a TREE! Once again, what the hell?

Thunder boomed overhead and Annabeth jumped slightly. The monsters had left when Thalia… died. Sort of. But everyone's nerves were still wrecked. They had to move and leave Thalia behind. She would do the same thing if she were in his place.

Luke had a sudden thought. His dad was a god. Surely he could do something. _"Dad, do something. Save her. She's my friend,"_ he prayed silently. Nothing happened except for the rain to fall harder.

Anger coursed through Luke's heart. He turned around sharply. "Annabeth let's go," his voice was harsher than he expected. She winced but obeyed. Luke cast a final, painful, glance at the tree, before turning around and leaving it. Screw them.

IV.

Luke lay on the ground, hands cupped over his cheek where the dragon had bit him. He could tell that the wound was poisoned. He groaned, _"That is definitely going to scar."_

The entire quest had been completely and totally _stupid_. Steal an apple from the Garden of Hesperides? Already done by Hercules. It wasn't like Atlas was going to be able to be tricked twice, so he charged the dragon head on. Now look where he was.

Luke turned over and lay on his back. He could see the stars were out. _"This isn't a bad place to die,"_ he thought, _"It's actually kind of pretty."_ Then he pushed that thought out of his mind. He was most definitely _not_ going to die. Annabeth needed him at camp, and he was making it back there no matter what it took.

_"Hey dad,"_ Luke thought, _"Remember how you sent me on this stupid quest in the first place? Well I'm kind of dying right now. Help would be nice."_ Once again, nothing came. _"Fine, I don't need your help. I can do it by myself." _Luke groaned as he slowly and painfully stood up. He stumbled along the path down the mountain and after what felt like a year of walking, reached the bottom. He promptly proceeded to pass out, his last thoughts somewhere on the line of, _"See. I don't need you."_

V.

Luke stood near the edge of the creek that served as the boundary for the Capture the Flag games. He looked extremely tired but his eyes were wild, like he wanted to sleep, but couldn't. And he really couldn't, because every time he tried to go to sleep, he would be haunted by nightmares. _"Join me,"_ this creepy voice would say, _"Destroy the gods .They are arrogant fools who are ruining the world. They don't care about you. You're just a pawn to them. I offer you great power." _

Luke had refused. Though he liked to believe it was because he was because he was a good person, he knew he was wrong. It was just because he didn't want to admit that he really thought his father didn't care about him.

But as of late, he began to wonder if maybe he should join the creepy voice in his head. He kept thinking of all the times he had asked his father for help, and all of the times he was ignored. _Destroy the gods_ it had said. It seemed nice, but something was holding him back. And now he found himself at the creek.

_"Hey dad. I'm going to join a bunch of people I've never met before that want to destroy you. How do you like that?" _he thought to his father. Nothing happened. The creek gurgled, birds chirped, and the sound of monsters could be heard in the distance.

"Fine!" he yelled, completely aware that the only things that could hear him in the area were dryads but not caring, "I'll join him and destroy you! I hate you!" Still no reaction.

Luke contacted the voice in his head, "_Fine I'll join you. Let me defeat the gods."_

I.

Luke lay in bed staring at the ceiling. Another sleepless night. He knew he should be getting his sleep for the big mission tomorrow, but he couldn't. He didn't want to bathe in the Styx, but Kronos had made him. What would happen? Would it hurt? Why did _he_ have to do it? Luke pushed these thoughts from his mind. It was an honor to host the Titan, and he should treat it as such. Finally Luke managed to go to sleep, but he wished he didn't, because he would rather be exhausted than face his dream.

Luke dreamt that he was in an office area. His father sat behind a desk with his caduceus in cell phone mode. The desk was cluttered and full of papers that said _Hermes Express_. There was a photo framed next to a stack of pens. With a jolt, he realized that it was him as a baby, being carried by his mom, before his mom went crazy.

Hermes cleared his throat, "Hello son." Luke glared at him coldly, "I don't know who you see as your son, because I sure as Hades don't see anyone here who was a decent father."

Hermes look saddened at this, but said, "Luke you don't underst-"

"I sure as Hades don't understand," Luke interrupted, "Why didn't you answer me when I asked for you? All those times I needed you, you weren't there. No. I don't need you. Leave me alone." Luke wasn't sure how to exit a dream, but he opened a door that he found behind him and walked out.

That morning when he awoke, Ethan asked if he was prepared to go to the Underworld and Luke nodded. The dream message had only made him more determined to dip in the Styx. Luke put on his armor, _"Time to give those bastards what was coming,"_


End file.
